WAYNE CUTS LAUREN OFF FOR GOOD

The House Was Unusually Quiet

The house was unusually quiet that morning.

Lauren had been sitting in the living room for nearly ten minutes, watching Wayne walk past her without saying a word.

Usually, Wayne would make a joke, ask what she was doing, or at least give her some kind of reaction.

But not today.

Today, Wayne looked straight ahead.

Lauren finally stood up.

Lauren: “Wayne.”

He kept walking.

Lauren: “WAYNE!”

He stopped but didn’t turn around.

Lauren’s voice immediately changed.

Lauren: “Why are you ignoring me?”

Wayne slowly turned his head.

Wayne: “I’m not ignoring you, Lauren. I just don’t have anything to say.”

Lauren stared at him.

Lauren: “You always have something to say.”

Wayne: “Not anymore.”

The Truth Finally Comes Out

That answer hit differently.

Lauren walked closer to him.

Lauren: “So you’re really serious about cutting me off?”

Wayne looked at her for a long moment.

Wayne: “Lauren, I’ve been serious.”

Lauren: “Wayne, stop looking like that.”

Wayne: “Like what?”

Lauren: “Like you don’t care.”

Wayne finally laughed.

Wayne: “You want the truth?”

Lauren: “Yeah.”

Wayne: “You only cared about me when I was useful to you.”

Lauren’s face immediately changed.

Lauren: “That’s not true.”

Wayne turned toward her.

Wayne: “That’s exactly what you’re going to say. But let me ask you something. When did you start calling me?”

Lauren stayed quiet.

Wayne: “When did you suddenly become so sweet?”

Lauren: “Wayne…”

Wayne: “No. Answer me.”

Lauren looked away.

Wayne: “You were only around when there was something you wanted. A place to stay. A car to drive. Money. Attention.”

Lauren: “That is not fair!”

Wayne: “Oh, it’s not?”

Lauren: “I was never just with you for your money!”

Wayne nodded slowly.

Wayne: “Then give the car back.”

Wayne Wants Everything Back

Lauren froze.

The room became completely silent.

Lauren: “What?”

Wayne: “The car, Lauren.”

Lauren: “Wayne…”

Wayne: “Give it back.”

Lauren: “You’re serious?”

Wayne: “I’ve never been more serious.”

Lauren: “Where am I supposed to go?”

Wayne: “That’s something you should’ve thought about before you treated me like an ATM.”

Lauren stepped closer, suddenly emotional.

Lauren: “You really think I was only with you for money?”

Wayne: “I know you were.”

Lauren: “No! Wayne, I care about you!”

Wayne looked down at her hand and slowly removed it.

Wayne: “Now you do.”

Wayne Is Done

Lauren: “What is that supposed to mean?”

Wayne: “It means you didn’t care until you realized you could lose something.”

Lauren: “I’m not trying to be just cool with you.”

Wayne: “Good.”

Lauren waited.

Wayne looked directly into her eyes.

Wayne: “Because I’m not trying to be anything with you.”

Lauren went completely silent.

For the first time, Wayne’s words actually shook her.

Lauren: “You can’t mean that.”

Wayne: “I do.”

Lauren: “You’re just angry.”

Wayne: “No.”

Lauren: “You’re jealous because of Dan.”

Wayne laughed.

Wayne: “Lauren, if you want Dan, go get Dan.”

Her face immediately changed.

Lauren: “Why are you saying that?”

Wayne: “Because you keep acting like mentioning him is supposed to make me jealous.”

Lauren: “So you don’t care who I’m with?”

Wayne paused.

Instead, he quietly said:

Wayne: “I cared before.”

That was worse than any argument.

The Breakup Face

Lauren: “Wayne, please don’t do this.”

Wayne: “Lauren, you’re the first woman in Skit Land history that I had to cut off.”

Lauren: “Are you serious right now?”

Wayne: “Very.”

Lauren: “You’re going to throw me away?”

Wayne: “I’m not throwing you away. I’m returning you to the streets.”

Lauren: “WAYNE!”

Wayne: “Crib.”

Lauren: “Wayne!”

Wayne: “Car.”

Lauren: “Wayne!”

Wayne: “Keys.”

Lauren: “You want everything back?”

Wayne: “I want everything that made you stay.”

Wayne: “Then we’ll see what you have left.”

Lauren Tries One Last Time

Lauren quickly changed the subject.

Lauren: “Wayne… you know my mom hasn’t been doing well.”

Wayne slowly closed his eyes.

Wayne: “Lauren.”

Lauren: “She’s been sick, and I’ve been under so much stress—”

Wayne: “Lauren. Don’t.”

Lauren: “What?”

Wayne: “This time, the ailing mom card is not going to work.”

Lauren: “You’re really heartless.”

Wayne: “No. I finally got a heart for myself.”

That statement left Lauren speechless.

She stood there waiting for the old Wayne to return.

But he didn’t.

Wayne picked up the keys from the table and held them out.

Lauren: “Wayne… please look at me.”

Lauren: “Why won’t you look at me?”

Wayne: “Because when I stare forward and don’t look at the girl…”

Lauren slowly realized what was happening.

Lauren: “Wayne…”

Wayne: “That’s my breakup face.”

Lauren: “NO!”

Wayne: “Yes.”

Lauren: “Wayne, please!”

He pointed toward the door.

Wayne: “Crib.”

Then toward the keys.

Wayne: “Car.”

Then back toward the door.

Wayne: “And you can call Dan, because I know Dan ain’t letting you go.”

Lauren: “You’re really done with me?”

Wayne stared forward one last time.

WAYNE: “G-WA-GONE.”

The Final Cutoff

Lauren stood there in silence.

And for the first time, the woman who thought she could finesse anyone realized she had gotten the least out of Wayne.

WAYNE HAD FINALLY CUT LAUREN OFF FOR GOOD.